The Breakup: Can Exes Be Friends?

When we were kids, our parents would read to us and teach us many things, but there are things we’ve learned by ourselves also. Friendship. We’ve learned that we should be friends with as many people as we can. But can we be friends with just anyone?

I’m sure many of us have been in a relationship in high school or have seen others in a relationship. Yes yes, I have been in some myself. Many of us go through many of the stages of a relationship: the meeting, the chase, the honeymoon phase…

AND THEN IT ALL GOES DOWNHILL. Eventually leading to the breakup.

Show: Pretty Little Liars

But after the breakup, should you guys be friends? The two of you certainly have connected a lot at some point in the relationship and you could possibly want to still keep in touch with them.  However, is it possible?

From my personal experience, it doesn’t happen often. Aren’t all breakups horrible to begin with? Anyways, it was either that there was too much history between us or that things ended way too horribly for any chance of a friendship sprouting. Plus, those romantic feelings don’t suddenly go away just because you’ve broken up with someone. It takes time for those feelings to disappear, especially if the breakup took a hard blow on you. But a friendship shouldn’t be forced upon you or the other person. Although, I do believe that a friendship can work if both people learn to move on. I’ve recently gone through a breakup. I tried to be friends with my ex, but we clashed too much for it to happen. Things become awkward between us. We got into fights even when we aren’t in the relationship anymore. There was a lot of jealousy and hate that happened between us. I ended up breaking the friendship off with him and blocking him on Facebook. Whenever I saw a post that he commented on or was tagged in, there was a sudden mixed feeling of anger and sadness. I didn’t know why I felt this way. Whenever I saw him during school, I would avoid eye contact with him and walk in the other direction. I decided that I couldn’t handle it and that it would be the best for me and for him if we didn’t stay friends.

And so this got me thinking. Was it just me or was the idea of exes being friends not such an absurd thing after all? So I decided to ask some of my classmates on their opinions and here’s what they said:

“Yes. Anyone can be friends.” -Andrew, has never been in a relationship

“Hmm, I don’t know about that. It depends on how the relationship broke off.” -Steven, has been in one relationship

“Well, if it was a toxic relationship then no. But it’s possible for a relationship to end as remaining good friends. It’s rare, but it’s possible.” -Nancy, has never been in a relationship

“That depends on how they break up. If it’s a mutual breakup then yes. But if it’s like a cheating type or an abusive breakup then no.” -Lena, has never been in a relationship

“They should, but I don’t think they can. It’s not realistic.” -Viviane, has been in one relationship

“To be honest, only to an extent. Like just friends but like not close, you know?” -Julie, has been in four relationships

After hearing many people’s opinions, I realized it just truly depends on how the relationship ends. So I guess, there’s your answer…

Show: White Collar

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